Sometimes You Can't Make it On Your Own
by tall soy latte
Summary: An RM fic with minor SS Marissa and Ryan can't seem to keep it together but they definitely have a hard time keeping apart
1. Chapter 1

It had been 46 hours. Not that that was a world record or anything, but for Ryan Atwood 46 hours without being graced with the presence of Marissa Cooper was far too much time. For Ryan an hour without Marissa was more than enough solitude. He lie on his bed in his apartment, wondering where she was, but more importantly, if she was thinking of him. It had been 2 months since they had started Berkeley, Ryan and Seth lived together in a small apartment off campus and conveniently located down the hall for any necessary "midnight runs" was apartment number 741, Marissa and Summer's shared apartment. The mere distance of less than 40 feet from their apartment was both a pro and a con, depending on when it was asked.

Currently Seth and Summer were in a relationship and Ryan and Marissa were in… limbo? Ryan and Marissa were simply being Ryan and Marissa, they had mastered the art of the on-again, off-again couple and didn't seem to want to lose that title. Currently they were off, but the sexual tension and the undeniable chemistry was on as per usual.

Ryan lay there thinking about a sudden blue eyed, blonde haired beauty ignoring the knocking on the door. Seth had probably lost his keys again and no matter how much Ryan adored him as a brother, he was far too comfortable in his bed to ever get out. Suddenly he heard the key turn and the door open. Then, silence. He knew it couldn't possibly be Seth, because no matter how stealth Seth said he was, he most certainly wasn't and Seth's grand entrances generally were accompanied by fallen items and enough clatter to wake up the whole apartment building.

"Ryan?" It was a soft voice that would always be recognizable to him, Marissa.

"I'm in my room" he said. He contemplated getting out of bed but that would seem like he was desperate to see her, but then again staying in bed would make it look like he was desperate for her. Either which way he would seem desperate for her, something which he was. He was still amidst his thoughts when the door swung open and there stood Marissa.

"Marissa? Oh sorry I thought it was Seth" he feigned shock and propped himself up.

She raised and eyebrow cynically in a way only Marissa Cooper could do while still looking impossibly chic.

"You thought I was Seth?" She asked sarcastically, her voice heavy with disbelief. She sat on the edge of the bed, still staring at him strangely. She was wearing a short denim mini with holes and tears, a pair of worn out Converse her hair was held back in a scarf tied around her head with the intertwining Chanel C's in black and white, and she was wearing a white wife beater. The sight of seeing Marissa Cooper in a wife beater was enough to have him pull his infamously cute sloppy half smile but he couldn't help himself but wish it was his wife beater she was wearing.

"Sum and Cohen are getting their mack on, so it looks like you'll be stuck with me for a while" she took the liberty of taking off her shoes and lying down on the left side of the bed as she said this.

Ryan looked over at her sardonically, he wondered why she did this to him, taking a break meant taking a break, not coming over to hang out, in bed. But in reality, Ryan didn't really seem to mind; he knew he would enjoy the company. Within a matter of minutes she had stolen the remote from him and turned to a channel where Breakfast at Tiffany's had just begun. Ryan's attention wandered from the screen to Marissa, and although it was Marissa's all time favorite movie, she couldn't help but be distracted by the presence of Ryan. She wondered if he minded that she was there, after all they weren't exactly together. Had it been anyone else Ryan would've been annoyed but we all know that Ryan Atwood would never pass up a chance to spend some quality time with Marissa, in a bed.


	2. Chapter 2

Aww! I was so happy and encouraged by the reviews, they fuel me, they really do! Thanks so much for all your kind words. Anywho….

The volume was on mute and images of Audrey Hepburn flickered on the screen. Ryan didn't understand the glamour and the beauty they saw in her. He glanced over to Marissa, in his mind she was the most glamorous and beautiful woman ever, Audrey was a plain Jane compared to her. His eyes lingered on Marissa who was fast asleep; she was in a fetal position her arms wrapped around her knees and her hair splattered about in a way that looked messy and neat all at once. A distant noise rudely snapped him out of his admiration, the doorknob. After a few seconds the loud clatter and screamed "Ryan! You here?" confirmed his worst fears. Seth was home, and Marissa was in his bed asleep with the top button of her pants undone and her shirt had ridden up exposing a wide expanse of skin.

'When the hell did that happen?' he wondered. Needless to say nothing had happened, not yet, tonight they would go for dinner and then it would happen. It became almost a pattern- heartbreak, lust, love, heartbreak, rinse and repeat. It had begun the moment they met on the ill fated stretch where the Cohen driveway met the Cooper driveway, and it was very unclear whether it would ever end. Ryan did know one thing, that if Seth found Marissa in his bed it would lead to taunting, and stupid sarcasm which as hard as it was to believe, he found funny.

Ryan tumbled out of bed unruly hair and wrinkled clothes made a sprint to his door, walked out the threshold closed it and stood protectively in front of it. Sure enough there was Seth with a certain disgruntled look on his face but looking quite the happy trooper.

"Ryan, my man what's up?" he said in a Rico Suave-esque tone of voice. He swaggered a bit, had it been anybody else Ryan would've thought they had been drinking but it was Seth who wasn't exactly Mr. Stealth. Ryan simply stood, nervously leaning against his bedroom door.

"Ryan" Seth began, his voice dripping with Sethism," Oh my sweet Moses, the disgruntled hair, the protective door stance, you must have a girl in there!"

"No, Seth" it was an annoyed whisper meant to keep him away not egg him on.

"Dude, yes there is a girl in there! What's Marissa going to say?"

In a moment of fate, or maybe hate from God, the door swung open. Marissa's lithe figure stood in the doorway, tucked behind Ryan's.

"Oh look! Its Marissa!" Seth began, Ryan feared whatever he was planning on saying next, "I think I might've interrupted a little something something here and.."

"It's not like that" both Ryan and Marissa blurted simultaneously.

"Sure, you guys should finish, I'll leave. It's good to see you together again" Seth left with a smile, but his words lingered in the air

"I am so sorry" Marissa whispered as soon as Seth left.

"It's ok". It was all Ryan could say, his mind was thinking the exact opposite. They were falling back into the routine- fight, silent week, friendship, lust, dinner, sex, relationship, fight. Heartbreak, lust, love, heartbreak, rinse and repeat. Ryan wanted to get her out of his system so badly, she was like a drug, she took him to a higher place and he loved it even though he knew it destroyed him. Against all odds, he knew what he had to do.

"Marissa. Do you want to go to dinner tonight?"

Routines were meant to follow, weren't they?

Now I just wanna add a little note. First of all please review. To those who do I am eternally grateful. The second thing is I want to know if you guys prefer a daily short chapter, like this one, or longer ones which would mean maybe two a week? It is up to you guys.

peace and LOVE!


	3. Chapter 3

Daily and short is what you guys seem to want so that's what I hope to give. Just a short disclaimer, the title of the story is the title of a U2 song, and obviously none of the characters in this fic are mine either, unfortunately ;)

Marissa was back in her apartment, Summer had gone out bowling with Seth, or rather Seth had gone bowling and dragged Summer along. She sat in her bathtub soaking in the warm bubbles. She was looking forward to tonight, it would be the "first dinner", the "first dinner" was always one of the best, and it always seemed to go downhill from there. Why couldn't they just keep it together? Yet, they were together, even when they "weren't seeing each other anymore", they never dated, Ryan and Marissa were meant to be, they knew it, and everyone else did, but inevitably something always went wrong. Marissa sighed while dialing a number she knew by memory, a number that she never quite got sick of calling.

"So you're in the bathtub soaking in bubbles and you want to know where we are going and what you should wear" the voice at the end of the line greeted.

"What happened to hello?" she said with a laugh at Ryan's greeting. It wasn't typical of Ryan to be the funny one, but he was always different around her.

"Marissa, I think we are over formalities, besides you always call before dinner from inside your bathtub while your scheming outfit possibilities."

Marissa had to chuckle, he was totally right, this was just another part of the routine.

"So, you gonna tell me where to or am I going to have to guess", she teased. She heard a sigh through the phone, he was thinking, Ryan always sighed while he thought.

"I don't know, Marissa" it seemed to be like a confession, whispered and shushed. She thought while the bubbles seemed to dissolve and create soapy water.

"We can hang out at the mall!" There was a silence, she wondered what his face looked like, she wondered if he was as terrorized as she thought.

"Marissa you know I don't do malls, I am not a mall person, I don't come from a mall world, I just don't do malls!" he said with a sense of urgency, his voice pleading.

"You didn't come from a ritzy world and you had no problem doing me." The silence on the other end of the line confirmed what Marissa had wanted.

"Ryan, I'll meet you down by your car at 7 and get ready to shop til you drop". It seemed nightmarish to him, and yet to her it seemed like the most entertaining of ideas. But in reality they could've been hanging out behind a dumpster and they would've been having the time of their lives, together.

This one is super short but it is a Saturday and time is scarce, besides tomorrow chapter is the date, which should be long and mildly amusing. I've got some ideas as to where they should shop but if you guys have any, feel free to suggest, and as always, please review.

peace&LOVE


	4. Chapter 4

You guys have me on a happy high! Somewhere between the reviewer that said this was a great story, and the one that referred to me as an "awesome writer" you guys have me over the moon!

I am glad you guys like the whole hot/cold Marissa and Ryan thing. That's one of the main reasons I posted here, you guys are much more mature than the people over at the message boards that just want pure fluff (not that I am anti-fluff, because I do adore fluff!). I am also super sorry there was no update yesterday but I had a family thing, and you guys know how that goes.

I'm breaking this into 2 chapters that will be posted simultaneously just because I like the way it looks better this way. Thanks and pretty please review!

Ryan stood leaning against the hood of his car looking down into his lap. Marissa would be down in a matter of minutes, if not seconds. Would Ryan and Marissa Version 9.0 work? Was it even 9.0? It depended on what you counted as a break up. And then there she was, walking out of the building, managing to sweep all of Ryan's thoughts and doubts away and just have him in a pure state of nirvana, in a state of Marissa.

She was wearing a short black skirt with an elegant short sleeve Victorian styled blouse, her signature black Chanel ballet flats, and a black and white Ligne Cambon bag. He was wearing a long sleeve black casual oxford style shirt, blue jeans and his boots which dated back to his days in Chino. When the blue in their eyes reflected in each others', they couldn't help but smile.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"So, is there any chance I can convince you out of this mall idea?" he tried to give his cutest smile.

"Nope" she said with a smirk.

"Come on I can take you to the Olive Garden" he said jokingly.

"You can take me to the Olive Garden tomorrow."

"Is that a date?" He raised an eyebrow as he said it.

"Is this a date?" She immediately regretted saying it, she had opened a can of worms. Ryan saw her wince as she said it, she probably regretted it, but he didn't. It made him feel a little bit more comfortable about where they were right now.

"Since this is a date", he said making his way around the car to the passenger's side, "I guess I am going to have to open doors for you and all".

The biggest of smiles escaped from her mouth as she walked over to the passenger's side and climbed in. As he closed the door for her he smiled and looked up at the sky, begging God for good karma.


	5. Chapter 5

The ride to the mall was the typical beginning. Marissa fought for the radio and Ryan teased that she liked the same music as Seth, and when Ryan sang along to Journey, Marissa couldn't stop herself from laughing so hard she was afraid she would explode. Then there were the comfortable silences, and the two times they caught themselves looking at each other. When they got to the mall Ryan couldn't help but groan, he didn't feel like looking for parking so he just drove right up to the valet.

"Ooh! Valet parking? Did Karen give you a raise? My birthday is in a month and I am going to be expecting something with at least 3 digits on its price tag" she joked.

Ryan and Marissa were working as interns in the same Home Design Firm while they finished their studies at Berkeley. Marissa was studying interior design and Ryan was studying architecture. They always talked of moving back to Newport when they were done with college and opening their own firm. Marissa always had that dream in the back of her head, Ryan was more doubtful of it and wondered if they'd still be talking come graduation time and even though it was only 6 months away, Ryan was dubious if they would make it.

"No raise" he said with a smile as he handed the keys to the valet. There they were, standing in front of the mall, together. He wondered if he should grab her hand, he loved the way her small smooth hand felt in his large rough on. Unable to contemplate further on the topic, she grabbed his hand and looked over at him with a smile.

"Ryan, one of these days you should make the first move".

He laughed and they walked into the mall discussing petty things that didn't even really matter, just the comfort of each others presences was enough. Marissa ushered him in and out of stores and mocked him when he said nothing was his style. It was in Bath and Body Works that Marissa put down they Magical Mango spray she was spraying Ryan with and looked over at him with a rather distraught face.

"I want a pretzel"

"You're kidding right?"

"Nope, right now, Ryan, massive pretzel craving!"

They walked over near the food court and satisfied Marissa's sudden pretzel craving but not without Ryan taunting her all the way. She warned him on multiple occasions that she would pay him back and taunt him like he had never been taunted before. They walked back towards the stores when all of a sudden Marissa yelped.

"Oh my god! It's Abercrombie! Lets go in!"

She pulled Ryan into the store and he felt quite uncomfortable in there. It was a Newpsie-in-training store. Ryan became utterly confused when she turned towards the men's side, and then it hit him, this was payback.

"Marissa this stuff is really not me" he complained.

"I don't care, its gonna be hilarious"

"If I didn't know any better I'd think that you were trying to pass me off for a certain water polo playing ex-boyfriend of yours that was an aficionado to this store"

"Haha, what size pants are you?" Not even bothering to wait for a reply she spun him around so that her back faced her pulled the tags out of his pants and checked the size.

She began looking through the stacks of jeans. She chose pair that was ripped all over the legs. She also found a pair of khaki cargo styled pants and grabbed a pair of man flip flops off of the floor. She moved over to the shirts and grabbed some polos, among them was a pink one.

"Marissa, I don't wear pink"

"Mkay whatev!" she said, completely disinterested in him

When she was finally satisfied with her array of California- Prep clothing she had chosen for him, she dragged him into a dressing room and shut the door behind the two of them. He stood defiantly in a corner with his arms crossed over his chest. She walked on over to him, and pouted, trying to look as cute as possible, she even added in a soft whimper like sound for the full effect. She made a deal that he only had to try on one shirt and one pair of pants. He raised his arms in the air surrendering.

Without a word he turned toward the mirror so he could only see Marissa through her reflection. He went unbuttoning each button of his shirt and when he was done he folded it neatly on the bench. Marissa couldn't help but hold in a breath when she saw him shirtless. It had been a while since she had seen Ryan's tanned and built body. He reached over for the polos, he noticed that there was only one left where the stack of 6 had once been. Coincidentally enough the remaining polo was the pink one. He wondered if he should protest but Marissa's eyes were burning into his back and knowing that he was on her mind sent him over the moon. Reluctantly he pulled it over his head, it was pink, and Ryan was wearing it. Marissa couldn't help but smile. He looked over at the two pants. The cargo khaki's or the ripped jeans? The cargos reminded him of his second night in Newport, and the fight on the beach, the water polo players had been wearing them. He reached for the alternative.

"Marissa, you're gonna have to close your eyes" he said with his infamous half-smile.

She giggled closed them and he changed into the ripped jeans. He turned away from the mirror refusing to look at himself.

"Put on the flip flops"

"I must look gay"

"You haven't looked at yourself in the mirror?" Her eyes flew open. She gasped and covered her mouth with her hand.

"That bad?"

"Ryan, did you ever consider water polo?"

"Please stop" he looked ready to cry.

"No, Ryan you look good, I swear."

She hugged him, pulling him close to her, in that moment he forgot about what he was wearing, where he was, everything, he was immersed in Marissa. She kissed his neck once and giggled as she watched his skin become goose-pimply as she did so.

"Please turn around" she whispered into his ear. He closed his eyes as tight as they would go. Slowly she turned him around, wrapped her arms around his stomach. His eyes fluttered open. He didn't look as horrible as he expected, actually he looked semi-decent. Not very Ryan-ish, but it wasn't bad. And Marissa having Marissa's body accessorize the outfit wasn't that bad either.

"We are gonna buy it"

"I am not gonna wear it"

"I don't care"

And so she bought the outfit while he pouted and went back to doing what he did best, brood. She offered her card when it came time to pay, and he didn't even protest.

"Stop looking so sullen, You get to do the same thing at Victoria's Secret in a few minutes"

He couldn't help but smile.

REVIEW!


	6. Chapter 6

It was pink. That was the only thought Ryan could muster upon entering Victoria's Secret. He had never been inside and upon entering he was blinded by all the pink. He didn't think it was possible that there were so many shades of pink. Or that women willingly bought g-strings with 4 centimeters squared of fabric for $12. Marissa headed towards the left, where the shades of pink were more playful than the ones on the right. A saleslady started to approach them.

"Welcome to Victoria's Secret, right here we have our Pink! By Victoria's Secret Collection and on the opposite side we have our classic collection. The sizing does run different with Pink! So if you find yourself in need of any assistance, feel free to ask for me, my name is Lauren"

She was your typical California blonde, and she was clearly eyeing Ryan, which clearly made Marissa uncomfortable which made Ryan feel a little flattered on the inside. Not wanting to upset Marissa, who looked uncomfortable and extremely self conscious, Ryan wrapped his arm around her waist and slipped half of his hand into the waistband of her skirt, while the other half rested on her sigh. Marissa's smile was ear to ear, but he pretended not to even notice. She cleared her throat getting ready to speak.

"I need pajamas, and some other stuff."

She wasn't quite articulate and her cheeks were as pink as the walls. He looked away casually and she made her way to the pajamas. She looked through the rack and narrowed it down to a pair of pj pants with the signature pink dogs, or a pair of girlish boxers that had pink and orange polka dots. She held them up to Ryan.

"Which ones are cuter?"

"They look kind of the same, pink, girly, like the polo you bought me"

"Yeah, I though the ones with the dogs were cute too" she said pretending he hadn't even talked.

She grabbed a few long sleeve shirts and 2 tank tops and made her way to the underwear bins while Ryan hastily followed her.

"To make up for the pink polo, chose five", she said as she motioned to the bins.

He looked uncertain, and then just plainly delighted. He looked through all of them. His first choice was a simple bikini style, it was white, but on the back it had adorable pink ruffles. He looked through for a small and set it in the basket Lauren had handed them. Marissa was surprised, she expected something skimpier not something that looked so sweet and innocent. Her eyes met his and gave silent approval. The next was a string bikini with the same pink dog pattern as the pajama pants she had chosen. He tossed them in and she nodded. He then quickly picked a plain pink thong. Marissa couldn't help but let out a giggle with the rapidity at which he did it. Next he chose a skimpy g-string with ribbons and tassels. Marissa thought it was adorable. He couldn't find a fifth and so he returned to his favorite style, the innocent bikini with the ruffles on the butt, he got an orange one with pink ruffles. Marissa was surprised that he liked that style so much, it was by far the most conservative but it gave reassured her that she was more than just a toy for him, that she was his girl, even though it didn't always seem like it.

They paid in relative silence, comfortable silence, and as they walked out the store Ryan remembered what Marissa had said about always having to make the first move, he swiftly reached down for her hand and wrapped his own around it. Ryan's phone vibrated in his back pocket. He flipped it out and read what appeared to be a text message.

"You hungry?"

"I had that pretzel but yeah, a little. Why?"

"Well, that message was from Seth and apparently you can't go back to you apartment tonight, which means that at this rate we will have little Seths and Summers running around in a year."

Marissa laughed.

"So you apparently are staying at my place tonight", Ryan continued, "and so I was thinking that instead of going out to eat I could cook for you maybe"

"Yeah. But can we go now? My feet are kinda tired and I am actually starving"

The drive back to Ryan's apartment was immensely uneventful, filled with small talk about work and school. They only took two classes at the university, one together, generally about architecture and design, and one apart specializing in what they specialized. They found themselves in the parking lot to their building but they just sat in the car laughing for some more time, there was no point in rushing.

They made their way up to the apartment and Ryan pulled out some pots and pans and put some pasta and meat sauce to boil on the oven. He poured to glasses of wine handed one to Marissa and she went to sit herself in the living room, he followed her lead. He was disappointed when she sat on a lounge chair instead of the couch. The silence became uncomfortable.

"Why do we become so distant after being so close?" Marissa asked, she didn't look up she simply continued to swirl the wine in her cup almost afraid of his response.

Ryan thought of his possibilities to answer the question, he could answer truthfully and seriously which would probably result in fighting in screaming, or he could pull a Seth and make it playful. He decided that the latter would definitely work better in this scenario.

"Maybe we are far 'cause you decided to sit all the way over there."

He raised an eyebrow as he said it, adding to the cockiness. She didn't say anything she simply smiled. She stood up and walked over to where Ryan was sitting on the couch and set her wine glass down next to his. She then strategically sat herself so that half of her was on him, and the other half was on the couch. She then grabbed one of his hands and tucked it into the crevice between her thighs.

"Is this better?" Marissa whispered into his ear.

He couldn't muster a response, and simply closed his eyes and nodded. She laughed and the sound of her laughter made him open his eyes. And in that moment, all felt right.

I really wanted to keep writing but I have school tomorrow and stuff. So this is it, sorry?

Please review though, you don't know how happy it makes me!


	7. Chapter 7

The smell of pasta flooded the apartment, and although Ryan knew that his kitchen would be up in flames if he didn't get up soon, he didn't plan on getting up anytime soon. His mind was on other things, mainly how this was going to work out, the millionth time around. Marissa on the other hand was daydreaming of a living in a vineyard in Napa with Ryan and their gorgeous blonde-haired, blue eyed children; it was reminiscent of a Ralph Lauren ad. Ryan was fed up of thinking of the endless possibilities, and decided to finish up the food. He contemplated asking her to stand up but he decided against it. He put down the glass of wine he was nursing and tightened his grip on Marissa. Suddenly stood up and swung her up in the air and over his shoulder. Marissa squealed as he walked towards the kitchen.

"Ryan put me down!"

"Hold on!"

He set her down sitting on the kitchen counter, her cheeks were red and she was still giggling. He smiled at her and lowered the heat on the stove. He pulled out two plates and served the pasta on them. They ate in relative silence. An occasional caught glance, followed by a smile, blushing and then back to eating. When they were done eating, Ryan went to go wash the plates.

"Don't wash them, you cooked, I'll wash them, you take a shower and when you get out I can take one", Marissa reasoned.

Ryan had forgotten about the sleeping arrangements and wasn't exactly sure if Marissa sleeping over would be the best idea, nonetheless, he agreed, went to his room, picked out some clothes, and took them into the bathroom with him.

As Marissa washed the plates she hoped this time would be different, that she wouldn't mess it up. For the most part, their short ruptures were always her fault. She would accuse him of infidelity or be unfaithful herself. It wasn't that she didn't like him, she loved him, adored him to bits, but the idea of commitment scared her. And although she knew she could trust Ryan with her life and that she wanted to spend her entire life with him, it all seemed so soon. It seemed like mere weeks ago that Ryan had introduced himself as "whoever he wanted her to be", and he hadn't let her down, he was exactly who she wanted him to be. He was himself.

Meanwhile Ryan started up the shower and let the water roll down his back. He thought about Marissa, and how she managed to waltz back into his life every single time after she stamped on his heart. He thought about how hard it had been to say I love you the first time but how true it was each and every single time he said it. He wanted to be with Marissa, he wanted to marry her, and have kids with her and grow old with her. All he had to do was tell her.

It is really short, but I am really sick, and I promise I will have another one up tonight.

Review if you love me!


	8. Chapter 8

Let me clarify on that small disaster that I posted a few hours ago. One reviewer was spot on when they said I changed their opinions. I wanted to make it seem like all of a sudden they aren't sure what they want and are just open to all possibilities. With that said…...

Ryan came out of the shower in a pair of drawstring pajama pants and a white wife beater which clung to his body because of the moisture from his shower. His hair was still wet. Marissa looked up and smiled, Ryan couldn't help but smile back. She began to gather things from her shopping bags.

"Thank god I bought pj's, right?"

"Yeah, you should probably bring some stuff over, you'll probably be over often"

Marissa couldn't tell whether he was referring to Seth and Summer hooking up, or if he was referring to themselves, or maybe referring to Seth and Summer with a double meaning of themselves. She decided not to drive herself crazy and analyze it. She grabbed her stuff and headed to the shower. Ryan looked around, finding nothing better to do, he flipped on the TV in the living room. He sorted through the stuff recorded on TiVo, nothing appeased him and he flipped to DVD mode. Last night he had bought and began to watch the U2 Vertigo Tour DVD. He pressed play, un-pausing the DVD, A Beautiful Day began to play, it was followed by New Year's Day and as the opening chords of Miracle Drug began to play, the water in the bathroom turned off. She was coming out. Sure enough less than a minute later Marissa appeared.

She was dressed in the pajama pants, the tank top and she layered the long sleeve shirt over it. Ryan was glad she didn't appear wearing something skimpy, when it came to Marissa, his self control was always low.

"I didn't know you were into U2, Ryan."

"I like them, are you surprised?"

"No, they're cool."

She grabbed the remote from him and sat on the opposite end of the couch resting her feet on his lap. She turned the volume up, Bono began to introduce the next song, it was familiar to Ryan, one of his favorites, he always related the lyrics to his relationship with Marissa.

Tough, you think you've got the stuff  
You're telling me and anyone  
You're hard enough

You don't have to put up a fight  
You don't have to always be right  
Let me take some of the punches  
For you tonight

Listen to me now  
I need to let you know  
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror  
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

We fight all the time  
You and I...that's alright  
We're the same soul  
I don't need...I don't need to hear you say  
That if we weren't so alike  
You'd like me a whole lot more

Listen to me now  
I need to let you know  
You don't have to go it alone

And it's you when I look in the mirror  
And it's you when I don't pick up the phone  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

I know that we don't talk  
I'm sick of it all  
Can - you - hear - me - when - I -  
Sing, you're the reason I sing  
You're the reason why the opera is in me...

Where are we now?  
I've still got to let you know  
A house still doesn't make a home  
Don't leave me here alone...

And it's you when I look in the mirror  
And it's you that makes it hard to let go  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own  
Sometimes you can't make it  
The best you can do is to fake it  
Sometimes you can't make it on your own

Marissa wasn't sure whether or not she had heard the song before but it totally hit to her hurt this time. Marissa always wanted to be the tough one, she wanted to be right, she never let Ryan blame himself, and to her Ryan was her world, as much as she denied it she needed him. A small tear rolled down her cheek and Ryan caught glimpse of it before she could wipe it away. He scooted to her end of the couch and hugged her, and within his embrace, she felt safe.

"What's wrong?" he murmured into her ear.

"I don't think I can make it on my own anymore". It was whispered but yet the words rung loud in Ryan's ears. It was a confession like no other.

"You don't have to, I am here, and I love you" he paused, and gathered emotional strength to continue, "I always have, from that day way back in that first year when I couldn't say it, to when you were schmoozing around with the yard guy and Seth's ex-girlfriend. That is my fatal flaw Marissa, no matter what you do, I can't help myself but love you. And now I even own a pink polo from Abercrombie."

They both began to giggle, and together silently watched the rest of the concert. When it finished Ryan turned off the TV and kissed Marissa on the tip of her nose, he pulled a throw blanket over them and turned off the lamp light. Tomorrow would be a new day, with a new start.

Ok. First off, review, second off, tomorrow there will be no update, I will be at a concert after I get back from school and I am even going to miss The O.C. (. And now… I am off to watch LOST ).


	9. Chapter 9

Ryan woke up to see light shining through the window, it was early morning and the sun was beginning to rise. It was Saturday, and Saturdays were lazy days, there was no need to wake up at the crack of dawn. And then there was the beautiful disaster that was strewn all over him, Marissa. She seemed to be fast asleep, her face reflected serenity and relaxation. Not wanting to wake her, and wanting to sleep in much longer, he carried her into his windowless bedroom and lay her down on the bed. He wasn't sure how she would react when she woke up. Being in his room, in his bed, he decided not to think about it and lay down on the bed next to her, on the opposite side, a safe distance away. Within seconds she had moved toward him, a human's natural instinct to seek warmth. It was undeniably cold in the apartment, but snuggled together, they found warmth. Inevitably Ryan drifted back into sleep.

When he did wake up again Marissa's torso was fully on top of him and her legs were drifting out diagonally, not wanting to wake her, he reached for his remote to entertain himself. He kept the volume on mute although he was watching music videos on MTV. It was a matter of minutes before Marissa began to fidget, each movement waking her up a bit more, and then her eyes fluttered open.

"Hey", she whispered it looking up at him.

"Don't I get a good morning kiss?" He knew he was pushing the envelope, but he didn't care anymore, he wanted her to know.

"Eww. Not before brushing my teeth. Can I use your toothbrush?" She was already bouncing out of bed as she spoke.

"You want to use my toothbrush? But that's been in my mouth, with my saliva" he mocked disgust and followed her into the bathroom.

"Bad Humor. You've been hanging out with Seth too much. Is yours the blue one or the one with Batman on it?"

She laughed at the ridiculousness of her own question and picked up the blue one and began to brush her teeth over the sink. Ryan sat himself on the bathroom counter to her right. When she was done with her teeth, she moved to where he was sitting, stood between his legs and shoved the toothbrush in his mouth, and began to brush his teeth. When she felt that she was done she told him to rinse his mouth and meet her in the kitchen.

He finished up in the bathroom, and walked out to the kitchen where she was sitting on the counter and looking out the window. He walked over to her and kissed her on the mouth. It was incredibly chaste yet at the same time so meaningful.

"You know I leave for New York tomorrow" she reminded him, sadness obvious in her tone.

He had totally forgotten. Julie would be getting married in 2 days out in New York where she was living. Ryan had been given the option to go but had opted not to because at the time him and Marissa weren't speaking, now he wished he could turn back time.

"I had forgotten, I'll miss you, but you know that, I always miss you, even when your down the hall". He tucked a few stray strands of hair behind her ear. She looked away saddened.

"Let's get some coffee. Hit up Starbucks, yeah?"

Her face brightened a little at Ryan's mention of her favorite place. She nodded and smiled a little, she was with him now, and that's all that mattered.

"I need to go back to my apartment for clothes though."

"Okay, close your eyes when you walk in though, I doubt you want to catch Seth in the act."

She laughed. It was a real laugh, not a giggle, not a fake laugh, a laugh. For the first time in a while she felt happy

"I'll be right back."

"I'm not going anywhere I promise."

She smiled at him, grabbed her clothes from the previous night, her purse, and her shopping bags and opened the door into the hallway. She looked around to see who was around. After all she was still in her pajamas. She was about to leave when she turned around.

"By the way, you better be wearing something from Abercrombie when I get back!"

She was gone before he could protest. He groaned and reluctantly walked up to the bag. He pulled out the jeans knowing that he would never be capable of wearing the dreaded pink polo. He took the ripped jeans and a wife beater with him into the bathroom He decided to take a shower. When he was done he pulled on his boxers, grudgingly put on the ripped jeans and pulled the wife beater over his head. He looked at himself in the mirror, the jeans weren't that bad. He smiled remembering how Marissa had been sitting on that very counter. Opening the bathroom door he found her sitting on his couch.

"Look at you, you look hot!" she said, smiling.

They drank their coffee and spent the rest of the day lounging in the park where they half-heartedly spoke of their dreams for their design company in between Ryan pushing Marissa on the swings and buying ice creams. Slowly the afternoon crept by and Marissa found herself looking off to the horizon sadly.

"I have to pack for the wedding"

"I know"

"You're gonna be alone this weekend, no me, no Sum, no Seth."

"I know"

"Well I also bet you know you are going to miss me" she said mocking his responses.

"Yeah, I know". He laughed and hugged her.

"Lets get you home so you can pack"

The drive home was relatively silent and mostly insignificant. About half way through Marissa reached over and held one of Ryan's hands. When they did get back to the apartment, they sadly parted and Marissa promised Ryan she would stop by tomorrow before her early flight. Ryan miserably walked to his apartment and when he walked in, Seth was stuffing clothing into a suitcase laid out in the living room. He saw Ryan walk in and smiled.

"Hey buddy, I have missed our Seth-Ryan time, its good to see you.

"You too."

"So are you going to be okay without me? And of course Marissa!"

"I'll be fine, there was life before you guys".

"Oh that's right, life before Newport. Back to the old school Chino, where you stole cars and didn't do girlfriends but you did them. That sounds minty."

"I'll be fine"

"Are you sure, because this is like the Julie Cooper-Nichol-asaurus's 7th wedding, and I don't particularily have to go."

"Julie Cooper-Nichol-asaurus?"

"Yeah, Apatosaurus, Tyrannosaurus, Julie Cooper-Nichol-asaurus's"

"Oh, she is a dinosaur now?"

"You betcha!"

"I am going to sleep Seth, I'll be fine"

"What happened to Seth-Ryan time?" Seth gave a puppy dog look.

"When you get back."

Ryan walked into his bedroom and closed the door, not bothering to take off his clothes or to even shower, he threw himself into bed. He tried to remember his life before Newport. Sure it had been his life, but he hadn't really been living it.

Sorry that its been a while but I've been busy. This chapter is more informational, but expect MAJOR FLUFF SOON.

Hint hint: the more reviews the sooner )


	10. Chapter 10

The sound of a ringing phone slowly lured Ryan out of his dream, when he did wake up he looked over at his night table. The clock read 5:24 a.m. and his cell phone was shrilling. He picked it up and flipped it open without even looking at the caller id.

"Hey, I leave for the airport in half an hour, can you meet me outside by my car."

"Yeah, no problem."

He pulled on a pair of pants, and a hoodie over his head, barefoot and all, he walked out of his room. Summer was making coffee and about 7 pink suitcases were standing by the door.

"Summer is all that yours? Aren't you only going for 3 days?" Ryan asked tentatively, afraid of an infamous rage blackout.

"Yes" she said directing her answer to Ryan, and then without any warning she screamed out "COHEN! HURRY!"

"Go find Marissa!" Summer yelled it out impatiently at Ryan.

Avoiding any more Ryan-Summer time he left, barefoot to the parking lot in search of Marissa. He saw her right away, she looked tired, her hair was in a messy bun on her head and she was even dressed a little more casual than usual.

"Hey"

"Hey"

"So, yeah"

"Yeah"

It was awkward until Ryan pulled her into a hug that lasted well over 5 minutes. He loved the way his body felt pressed up against hers. Eventually though, they pulled away.

"I'll only be gone for 1 full day; I will see you again the day after tomorrow, when I get home at night"

He smiled and acknowledged her comment. He stepped away and sat himself on the hood of her car. He decided to let it all out.

"Marissa, where does all this leave us? Are we still just friends? Or are we gonna give this whole thing another go and wait for another heartbreaking breakup?"

"I like the last option, except maybe this time we can find a way to do it without the heartbreaking breakup."

She smiled, and he returned the smile. She went and sat next to him and gently laid her head on his shoulder.

"Since I come back the day after tomorrow, and you are gonna have no one to talk to for a while, seeing as you only talk to about 5 people in total in this world and all 5 of them will be attending the New York wedding", she paused and smiled, "you can plan out that fantastic first date we were supposed to have but never did because we ended up on that yacht."

"We did have that date", he argued, "remember while we were making out in the pool house you told me it was the best date ever."

"Yeah well I want a better one Atwood", she teased.

"Well I guess I am going to be pretty busy then."

In that moment a yellow taxi van arrived, and Summer and Seth appeared with all of Summer's pink luggage, Seth's duffel bag, and Marissa's small Louis Vuitton suitcase and her LeSportSac carry-on. The taxi driver put the suitcases in the van and Summer and Seth said their good-byes to Ryan and told Marissa they would be waiting in the cab.

There were no words, just a simple kiss with a hidden promise. And with that she got into the cab, and she watched his figure become smaller and smaller, as the cab drove off into the horizon.

Ok so the fluff didn't quite go here. But next chapter for sure some "AWW!"- ness and the chapter with the date too. Review and fuel me ;)


	11. Chapter 11

"Marissa!" the unmistakable voice of Julie Cooper filled the apartment's foyer.

Marissa had gotten to New York, left her stuff at The Waldorf where she was staying, and as planned met her mother in her ritzy Upper East Side apartment. Seth and Summer had stayed in the apartment doing what they did best and if it weren't for the fact that they were probably naked, she would've stayed with them, she was dreading facing Julie Cooper. But there in front of her was her mother. She hadn't changed much, she was covered in make up and perfume and she was wearing a sweater dress that was far too short and far too tight.

"Come along now dear I want you to meet someone."

Marissa followed her farther into the apartment, in the living room was a man, in his 50's, looking out the window talking on his phone.

"Samuel!" The man turned around and quickly ended his phone conversation. He had short black hair, and piercing green eyes, he was relatively good looking for an older man.

"Marissa this is Samuel, Samuel this is Marissa."

Meanwhile in California Ryan had not only come up with the perfect date idea but also with another idea. He spent all afternoon preparing the date wondering what Marissa was up to all the way in New York.

She had spent the day with her mother and he soon to be stepfather, they had dined and Tavern on the Green and given Marissa a tour of the city. She pretended to be mildly excited but her thoughts wondered to a certain boy from Chino that managed to turn her world upside down time and time again.

Julie had insisted that they all turn in early to be ready for the early wedding. Marissa however had no intention of going to sleep. She was roaming the streets of New York in a thin sweater and she was beginning to get cold. She found a Starbucks ordered a White Chocolate Mocha and curled up in a big arm chair. Contemplating on whether to call Ryan or not, she decided she would and dialed his number. It rang four times before she heard his voice.

"Hey there Marissa, What's it like in New York City?"

"I'm drinking coffee and thinking about you. And you?"

"Same."

"Hey are you almost done with your coffee

"Maybe, Why?"

"Do you know where the nearest place where you can buy cd's is?"

"Yes, I passed it on my way over."

"Go"

"What?"

"Go to the store."

"Okay"

"I'll stay on the phone with you"

"Okay I am going, Where are you anyway?"

"In bed."

"Wish I was there."

"As do I"

"Okay I am walking."

"Okay"

"Ryan have you thought about life after college"

"You mean the business we half heartedly plan between school, fighting and having sex?"

"Wow, Ryan, since when are you funny?"

"Since always. What about the business? It will be in Newport. You will do interior design I will do architecture. Kirsten might subcontract me to work for the Newport Group and you'll have plenty of work because you know how the Newpsies love to remodel."

"They sure do, I am in the store, Ryan, what now?"

"Go to music"

"Okay I am here."

"How is it organized?"

"Alphabetically"

"Go to P"

"Okay"

"I am standing in front of Panic! At the Disco"

"Look for The Plain White T's"

"Never heard of them Ryan, but I found them, What CD?"

"All That We Needed?"

"Okay"

"You got it?"

"Yes, can I look at it"

"No"

"Gotcha."

"Okay I am paying, and you owe me $13.99"

"Okay"

"So what's next?"

"Do you have a CD player in your hotel?"

"I'm staying at the Waldorf, what do you think"

"Go back there."

"Ok. I am hailing a cab."

"Ok"

"In the cab, talk to me"

"Our little company needs a name, we also probably should start looking for office space in Newport, we graduate in June and it's already January."

"We can go one weekend and check it out."

"Yeah when I get back, I am in front of my hotel, I am staying in the penthouse so keep talking cause it will be a while."

"Hey Riss, where are Summer and Seth?"

"Uh that answer isn't exactly PG-13, I am in my hotel room, and I am super curious"

"Go to the stereo"

"I am in front of it"

"Okay I am going to hang up now and you are going to put on number 13, okay"

"Yeah. Its hard to believe I saw you this morning, I miss you a lot Ryan."

"I do too Marissa. Call me when you wake up."

"Bye Ry."

"Bye Riss"

The clicked, not wanting to, but needing to. Marissa ripped apart the packaging on the CD as fast as she could and put the CD in. She moved to track 13 and turned up the volume. The calming pleasant sound of a guitar filled the room.

Hey there Delilah  
What's it like in New York City  
I'm a thousand miles away  
but girl tonight you look so pretty  
Yes you do  
Time square cant shine as bright as you  
I swear its true

Hey there Delilah  
Don't you worry about the distance  
I'm right there if you get lonely  
Give this song another listen  
Close your eyes  
Listen to my voice its my disguise  
I'm by your side

Oh its what you do to me  
Oh its what you do to me  
Oh its what you do to me  
Oh its what you do to me  
What you do to me

Hey there Delilah  
I know times are getting hard  
But just believe me girl  
Someday ill pay the bills with this guitar  
We'll have it good  
We'll have the life we knew we would  
My word is good

Hey there Delilah  
I've got so much left to say  
If every simple song I wrote to you  
Would take your breath away  
I'd write it all  
Even more in love with me you'd fall  
We'd have it all

Oh its what you do to me  
Oh its what you do to me  
Oh its what you do to me  
Oh its what you do to me

A thousand miles seems pretty far  
But they've got planes and trains and cars  
I'd walk to you if I had no other way  
Our friends would all make fun of us  
and we'll just laugh along because we know  
That none of them have felt this way  
Delilah I can promise you  
That by the time that we get through  
The world will never ever be the same  
And you're to blame

Hey there Delilah  
You be good and don't you miss me  
Two more years and you'll be done with school  
And ill be making history like I do  
You know its all because of you  
We can do whatever we want to  
Hey there Delilah here's to you  
This ones for you

Oh its what you do to me  
Oh its what you do to me  
Oh its what you do to me  
Oh its what you do to me  
What you do to me

By the end of the song she was so happy she felt as if she would burst. She lay down in bed and played the song again. She then recalled the first thing he had said to her when she called him, "Hey there Marissa, What's it like in New York City?"

I thought this was pretty darn cute, the date will be the most ultimate Ryan and Marissa moment in my opinion. I actually started writing this because I had this awesome idea. It will probably be in the post after the next one. I don't usually like music in fanfiction, but I think it adds to this story. Also someone noticed the fact that Marissa was in the car driving away and Ryan was watching her leave which was a role-reversal. That was intentional, I am glad someone caught it. Review me, it means a lot amidst my hectic life.


End file.
